So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
