end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
