Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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