I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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