So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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