i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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