but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
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