Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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