Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
