I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
