Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
