The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
