swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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