There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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