we have officially lost it.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
