____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
