This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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