You're completely useless in the revolution.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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