I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
When are your genitals available?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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