nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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