Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
