Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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