He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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