I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
