Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
