Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
