saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize