I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
