I can text with my tongue
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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