We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
