he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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