Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
