The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I would fuck him just for his dog
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
