did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
May the power of my ass compel you!!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
