Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
