Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Randomize
