i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
