when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
