It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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