Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
