fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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