He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
