yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
