Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize
