the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
