Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
