Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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