McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
