I think i peed on brittanys purse
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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