worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
