Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
