we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
